Crushing perceptions

It’s interesting how we generate an opinion of a person the first time we meet them.  We might not know anything about them, but we immediately manage to make assumptions and, to certain extent, classify them based on our own segmentation structure that we have developed over the years.  I do that, and I think we all do, it’s human nature.

This has become more evident to me over the past couple of years, in part because I’ve become more aware of the image that I seem to project, and because I’ve found new interests, which are now a big part of my life.  These interests seem to clash, or at least they are not in line with the image I project.  It’s very strange how the “perceived” image of me is so different from the “real” me, not sure if that’s the case with everyone though.  People who meet me see me completely different from what I consider myself to be, and from the way my close friends see me.  Even those who have known me for a while, but are not really close friends, can’t seem to pin me down. They sway between the image that I project and the real me, depending on the interaction and the situation in that particular moment.

A few recent comments by people who had met me not long ago got me thinking.  Is there a way to change the image we’re projecting, particularly when it’s not an accurate representation of who we really are?  Is it just a matter of time until someone really gets to know the real “you”?  Can we develop a strategy to change this perception?  Do we want to?  Is it really worth it?

I work in market research, so I’m always talking to consumers about their perceptions of brands. In this case, we’re our own brand, and, in my case, the perception of the majority of people I meet is way off.  Should I conduct some focus groups to dig deeper into this subject? Well, every interaction I have is a personal interview that provides more insights into this subject.

When people meet me they think I’m very serious, uptight, conservative, a bit spoiled.  I admit it, I’m slightly reserved (at times) and not “bubbly,” but uptight and spoiled?  What makes them think that?  I’ve actually probed a bit into this subject, and apparently it has to do with the way I dress, the way I speak, my demeanor.

After talking a bit more, people are so surprised when I tell them that I like to surf and that I went on a biking trip to Vietnam (and not a luxurious one)!  For some reason, these activities don’t seem to fit with the image they have of me.  But actually, I rather eat at a “hole in the wall” with local people (assuming the food is good, of course), than at an uptight and fancy restaurant.  I rather have a picnic in the park or beach, than go to a “see and be seen” type of place.  I really enjoy the simple things, the sunsets, the stars, the view, all of which are free.  So it puzzles me when people classify me in a different way.

I like to get dirty, to sweat and rough it (ok, only to certain degree!), to feel the pain and effort in my muscles, to try new things, to push my limits.  However, I admit it, I also like a nice and comfortable bed and a clean bathroom.  I’ve been told that I look elegant, is that contradictory to being adventurous?  In my book, these two are not mutually exclusive.  That, to me, is the beauty of people…being able to have layers, diverse interests, depth.

So this is a lesson for most of us.  When we meet someone, we shouldn’t classify them into one segment.  We should ask questions, take the time to get to know them, and even then, we'll probably be surprised by the things we learn about them with time.  We should give people a chance, I’m sure they will amaze us!